Being a parent of an only child has me thinking a lot of this specific stereotype. An only child is: not social, not good at sharing, doesn't do well in team sports, will never have a successful adult relationship, the parents spoil them, the parents are too involved..... the list is endless. Some of them are little out there but you get the idea.
We are currently researching schools for Kollin. One of the first questions they ask is how many kids we have. I don't know exactly why but it seems like a key question. It makes me wonder if they are immediately seeing him as the stereotypical only child.
No one wants their child to be typecast. My life for him consist of fighting those stereotypes. He is social, he makes compromises, he listens well to authority figures, he plays well with other children, he is a good kid. There are a lot of things we are able to do because we have "only one" that others are not able to do. We are so very thankful for this.
As I fight this stereotype it makes me think of the ones I have fought for myself. The stereotypical girl/woman, the stay-at-home mom/working mom, Mormon/Non Mormon, tattoos, supporter of gay (human) rights... again, the list is endless. We all have things we have to struggle with to make us who we are. We learn from our past and build on it to make a better future.
My hope is that I will be able to rise above ALL stereotypes. I want to know people for who they truly are; not what I believe they should be.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
I am enough
I have spent a lot of time getting used to being me. Me changes. Sometimes I am Kollin's mom, Ken's wife, That girl, Aunt Angie, Sister in law, friend. One thing I always am, is Changing. I have had to learn to accept myself for who I am and not beat myself up over what I am not or who I am not pleasing today or my past mistakes/choices.
Society, family, friends... you name it: they are constantly judging me for who they believe me to be. Then they act accordingly toward me. I am a mom of ONLY one child, I am not religiously affiliated, I have tattoos, I drink on very rare occasions, I am skinny, I am mostly vegan.... the list is endless. Play dates are not fun because all the moms do is compare to find out who is better at what, how their child excels over mine. I hate comparisons. Why can't we all see that we are all doing what is best for our families with the tools we have?
My therapist (yes, I have been seeing a therapist), told me to read a book by Brene Brown called "The gifts of Imperfections". It is all about accepting yourself for who you are, cultivating joy, and living with your whole heart. In order to do this you have to truly love yourself and be willing to be vulnerable and judged. This book reached out to me in so many ways.
Last night, I did a guided mediation. I set out to meet my future self. As I went down my path I decided I didn't want to meet my future self today. Instead I decided to take a small side path and enjoy it for all the beauty there was. I love meditation and the peace it gives me.
Today: I am enough. I love my life. I love being a mom of one (this is big for me).
Society, family, friends... you name it: they are constantly judging me for who they believe me to be. Then they act accordingly toward me. I am a mom of ONLY one child, I am not religiously affiliated, I have tattoos, I drink on very rare occasions, I am skinny, I am mostly vegan.... the list is endless. Play dates are not fun because all the moms do is compare to find out who is better at what, how their child excels over mine. I hate comparisons. Why can't we all see that we are all doing what is best for our families with the tools we have?
My therapist (yes, I have been seeing a therapist), told me to read a book by Brene Brown called "The gifts of Imperfections". It is all about accepting yourself for who you are, cultivating joy, and living with your whole heart. In order to do this you have to truly love yourself and be willing to be vulnerable and judged. This book reached out to me in so many ways.
Last night, I did a guided mediation. I set out to meet my future self. As I went down my path I decided I didn't want to meet my future self today. Instead I decided to take a small side path and enjoy it for all the beauty there was. I love meditation and the peace it gives me.
Today: I am enough. I love my life. I love being a mom of one (this is big for me).
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